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I’ve been MIA again, and this time I have no excuse. We were hit by yet another wave of COVID-19. The Delta variant is more deadly and transmissible while our government is useless as always. At this point, Thai people no longer question its competence but its humanity.

One of the reasons I haven’t updated is that my post would turn into a political one. The other reason is because I feel so uninspired as ever. Hundreds of people are dying every day. I myself am not free of risk. Although the risk of getting COVID-19 for me is very low, I’m still resentful, watching people die.

Mentally speaking, I’m doing pretty okay. It was the right decision to go back to my psychiatrist to receive medication. These days I only sleep, eat, and work although I mindlessly eat most of the time. I sleep too much, but it keeps me sane. Sleep and writing keep me sane. Actually, it’s a miracle that I can work at all, but it seems like writing helps take my mind off the surrounding situation. And by writing I mean writing romance novels and nothing else.

It’s hard to be creative in a situation like this. Poetry just wouldn’t come to me, like at all. And talking about what’s going on in my country is depressing. I do enough of that on Facebook already.

I don’t cook even though I have a lot of free time. That’s a bad sigh. We pretty much order delivery food. Everyone does that because restaurants are not open for dining in. It’s also too risky to go to grocery stores regularly. Most importantly I just don’t feel like cooking.

I guess I’m doing fine considering how hopeless the situation is. But still the hardest thing is seeing people die every day.

— Petra