I haven’t listened to Chopin for months.
I guess I was too sad and worried. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and PTSD for about a year now. My doctor said I could take a smaller dose of some of the meds because I’m feeling better. I’m not so sure about that yet, but I no longer need to see the therapist.
The sky is clearer somehow. It’s weird. I don’t remember feeling so good.
I think it’s the meds for the most part, but the therapist sessions also made so much difference. I had EMDR sessions, and for some reasons they worked like a charm. My brain worked against me, and the sessions I had changed that.
And like I said the sky is clearer somehow. Things don’t bother me very much anymore.
When it was so bad, I didn’t think I’d ever get better. I didn’t know what a good day is. But it does get better, and I feel like myself again. I never really understand the phrase until today.
I’m still dealing with bronchitis, though. I don’t even know if it’s bronchitis, actually. I still cough a lot. Last week I went to a another hospital and had my lungs X-rayed one more time and also the nose area. The doctor gave me a nasal spray which is hell in a bottle. It needs to be kept in the fridge because Bangkok is too hot for it. Each time I spray it into my nose, I feel like I could die. The doctor wasn’t sure what cause the symptom, but said that something about my sinus cavity is not right.
I needed to have my blood tested for allergy. The nurse took five tubes half full of my blood. Five freaking tubes. I’m seeing the doctor this Sunday to hear the results of each one.
I’m doing my best to take care of myself because I’m just sick of getting sick. It was hard when my mental health wasn’t strong enough and all I wanted to do was stay in bed the whole time. But now it’s not too hard anymore.
I’ve started to work out again and it feels great.
Everything is starting to get back to where it used to be again. It feels great to be able to have control over your life again. I’ve never been a healthy person except for a couple years when I worked out. I think I could be healthier if I try.
It’s funny I said that.
Maybe next time I see my psychiatrist, I’ll tell her I take half a dose of the med like she suggested.