As a nihilist, I don’t believe in the importance of being born into this world. But as I was born thirty three years ago, I have to deal with this whole journey called life.
And since I don’t believe in god or religions for that matter, I only got myself to keep me grounded.
I’ve been searching for myself for as long as I remember. As much as I always wanted to have things my way, most of the time I didn’t know what I truly wanted.
My psychiatrist said I always find something to be unhappy about. On the surface, she wasn’t wrong. There have always been something that nagged me. Something that I felt wasn’t right. Something I felt guilty about.
It was my doubts about how things should be that made me feel guilty. I often looked at people around me and compared myself to them.
But now I have a revelation. I’ve finally found myself after thirty three years of searching. And it’s not too late. Life can begin at any moment. Time was not lost. During this journey, I’ve learned about and made myself who I am today.
Start off, you need to accept what you truly want no matter what society tells you. No matter how shallow it makes you look, the first step is to accept that you want it.
Sometimes, it’s not you. It’s society. Fuck what the norms say. If it doesn’t fit your personal philosophy, then it’s not for you.
We’re so used to living our lives the way society forces us to live. We’re used to pretending to be like others. But from now on, break free. Accept that you want what you want, not what other people tell you that you should have.
People are born different. How would everyone want the same thing?
There are some people that on the outside fit the norms perfectly. But it’s okay if you’re not one of those.
People should mind their own business, and you mind yours. Don’t do what seems to be right; do what actually is right for you.
—Petra
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