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I was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD and have been on med for a few years. Things have been stable. I have it under control. Or so I thought.

I’ve worked on this new novel for a month or so. It’s been pretty stressful, but it was nothing new. Just a normal level of stress, I would say. It’s like how you can get stressed at your day-to-day work.

But then the other day, I found myself crying when I was rewriting my WIP (it was an emotionally intense scene all right). It wasn’t the first time I cried while working on a novel. I remember crying when working on an emotionally intense parts of novels before. But the crying was mild. Like just a few teardrops.

What heppened the other day, though, was not mild. I cried while writing. Like actual cry, tears-streaming-down-my-cheeks type of cry. This only happened once before, when I was writing about my childhood friend who’d passed away.

I didn’t know what triggered it exactly. The scene I was writing was emotional, but it wasn’t based on my life experience. But then there might be some relation to my experience on a subconcious level? Maybe. I don’t know. I might have cried just because I was stressed out and the scene was sad and I wanted to be done with it.