Here I am again in the bathtub not without pain.
No matter how hard I try, it’s still not enough.
All my words about happiness go down the drain.
I don’t need another reminder that life is tough.
Let me sink down to the bottom of this hot water,
lie down in the deep to drown out the voice in my head.
I know it’s not the time for all this to be over.
I want to try many times more; I’m not yet dead.
I now can only see things in muted colors,
soft gray, brownish yellow, and subdued blue.
All is blurry beneath hot tears rolling down the gutters.
When will I ever again see old bright green hues?
I wish I knew exactly when the pain will go away.
Now I only need to keep my head under the deep
until it’s truly over and the noise is kept at bay.
I’m not giving in; I have promises to myself to keep.
I know I’ve been MIA. It’s been a rough and busy month. I think I’m being too hard on myself again. Ugh! Will write something more cheerful next time!
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