I think I’m back. Me. Back.
I’m back into writing. That abomination of a writing program is back again. If you have followed me for a while, you probably remember it. It’s back for another season, I’ve sent my application. I have more confident this time, but I keep my expectation low. I just know better, all right.
If not for some 30K words of fanfiction, I almost abandoned writing for the second half of this year. After fighting against that abomination of a writing program last season, what left in me was burned out completely. I’ve been addicted to Love and Deepspace since February. A lot of things have happened since then. I’d say that as a person I’ve grown so much partly because of it. Funny how life finds different ways to give you lessons.
I’d experienced burnout for almost two years, even before I started to play the game. Love and Deepspace has helped me somewhat. For what I know, it gave me an opportunity to organize an event, something I’d never realized I’d be able to do. I was crazy and decided to do it on a whim. It turned out great. I did learn a lot from it.
I got back into writing a novel just this month, and it just felt so different. Maybe I’ve snapped out of it already. I could feel passion burning inside of me. My fingertips felt as though lights were shining through them as I was typing. Crazy, I know. For a moment, I thought I’d been such a fool for all this time. I’d been looking everywhere, searching for meaning in life. It’s right here all along.
My event was a huge success, but the happiness I found was just a fleeting moment. It doesn’t compare to what I get from writing.
How could I have been so dumb not seeing what was right in front of my eyes? Life is just funny, isn’t it?
–Petra
Petrawrites.com 