Gratitude Journal Day 12

I didn’t order my drink from my usual place today and ended up getting something that didn’t taste as good. It was such a bummer. I’m so addicted to boba tea. It’s not good for your health, I know, but it makes me happy. I think you should have something that makes you feel great, unless you’re diabetic, and it’s a doctor’s order. But my daily total calories are fine.

I did some work today, and just called it a day. My latest novel didn’t do very well, but I had no expectations whatsoever. I was so happy at the concert the other day that I didn’t give a shit about anything else. And right now, I’m really focusing on my fanfiction. It may seem pointless to some people, but I’m just doing what makes me happy. I’m so lucky that I can afford to do that.

About last week or so, I came across a post on Instagram, might have been my friend or some random people on the Internet. Well, this post was about signs from the universe. I call it bullshit. I used to listen to and wait for signs from the universe, too, in my twenties. In my thirties, though, I think I shouldn’t be wasting my time waiting for someone to make a call. Just fucking do what you want like a goddamn responsible adult.

Why am I cursing here, though?

My point is I used to waste my time doubting, too. Now, I realize that it doesn’t matter at all whether you can or cannot do it. What matters is that you do it or not. And only do things that have meaning to you. Don’t waste your time waiting for a sign. What if it never comes? Are you going to waste your whole life waiting for some intangible shit?

Well, after I did some work, I took a long nap. A nap is something very important to me. When you’re in doubt, just take a nap. All is better after a nap. Today, I’m grateful that I can afford to live my life like this, to eat whatever I want, to take a long nap in the middle of the day, and to do something meaningful to me.

–Petra